Saving Face Fantastically

2011 February 18
tags: , ,
by Carol Bory

For those who attend my programs undoubtedly you hear me say “always save a person’s face.” Whether it a client or colleague, saving them from embarrassment is one of the foremost attributes of kindness.

An article by CNN Contributor Bob Greene highlights a recent occasion where a well known figure in American society chose the path to save a person’s face when it would have been just as easy to choose the opposite.

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General Peter Chiarelli – “It was an honest mistake ANYONE could have made.”

The stage is a Washington dinner attended by Valerie Jarrett, a White House advisor, and U.S. Army four-star General Peter Chiarelli. While navigating the dining room in full dress uniform General Chiarelli walks behind Ms. Jarrett and hears her request for a glass of wine. Apparently Ms. Jarrett saw the stripes on his pants and thought he was a waiter.

As told by Greene, “Rather than take offense, or try to make Jarrett feel small for her blunder, the general, in good humor, went and poured her a glass of wine. It was evident that he wanted to defuse the awkward moment, and to let Jarrett know that she should not feel embarrassed.”

Greene continues, “Chiarelli wrote in an e-mail to CNN Pentagon Correspondent Barbara Starr:

“It was an honest mistake that ANYONE could have made. She was sitting, I was standing and walking behind her and all she saw were the two stripes on my pants which were almost identical to the waiters’ pants — REALLY. She apologized and will come to the house for dinner if a date can be worked out in March.”

Wow! Now that is a great example of saving a person’s face!

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from → Civility

  • Clare Munn

    I applaud General Chiarelli. Socializing at events – be they political, professional, or otherwise – can always be a bit awkward. Thankfully there are those who handle the pressure with such grace that it makes it easier for all the rest of us. Simply delightful.

  • http://claremunn.com/2011/07/cq-how-to-socialize-at-events/ Clare Munn

    I wrote, recently, about something similar as well. Check it out if you have the chance: http://claremunn.com/2011/07/cq-how-to-socialize-at-events/

    Thank you for posting.
    -c

  • http://twitter.com/PeggyNoeStevens Peggy Noe Stevens

    In my client consultations and speaking engagements I always say, “The best form of etiquette is to make people feel comfortable”.  Great article!