How Trust Is Offered Among Strangers

At times on Twitter and Facebook I read critical, sometimes disparaging remarks, about a person or company. The intent of the remark I do not know. What I do know is they are bringing their private issues into a public realm (the Internet) where a person is not obliged to the social courtesies of mutual consideration.

I sometimes picture Internet dialog as a pendulum swinging in an opposing direction, free from the encumbrances of courtly culture, where deference was restricted to those above us in the social hierarchy. Yet as the pendulum swings from courtly culture to the freewill of an individual, we see another dynamic. We see the “democratization” of deference. Deference once reserved to courtly subjects, transformed into an aspect of all (or almost all) of our interactions. Mutual recognition of individual preferences now becomes a part of forming our social connections (Adam B. Seligman, 2000).  

Interestingly though, as the pendulum reaches the pinnacle of its arch, there is another tradeoff. The confidence once held in courtly culture—that a person would act according to a collective set of social norms—is now replaced by trust in the freewill of the person.  Trust in one another to show mutual recognition, not because it is law or tradition or obligation, but because of the morality embodied in our freewill.

It is in the codes of civility and the social norms of etiquette do we see mindfulness for individuals, curbing our desires at times in recognition of another’s preferences. It is when we ascribe to these ideas, do we begin to develop social bonds of trust: trust between unknown persons.

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