Business Etiquette: How to Respond to Rudeness

Today VitalSmarts released the results of a survey citing 91% of respondents come across rude behavior caused by personal digital assistants (PDAs). And, only 1 in 10 people will verbally address the issue. Most, or 37% of the 1000 people surveyed will keep comments to themselves, 26% will resort to nonverbal clues to express their annoyance, and 14% will walk away.

So, is it best to say something to the offender or ignore the situation? P.M. Forni co-founder of the Johns Hopkins Civility Project and author of Choosing Civility, is writing a new book- Rudeness: How to Respond to It in Everyday Life to address this issue.

I recently had the opportunity to attend a meeting where P.M. Forni spoke briefly regarding how to address unfocused rudeness in a civil manner. In his gracious tone he advised that we “maintain our composure and act from a position of poise and repose.” That if we prepare our responses to rudeness ahead of time using visualization techniques we can help ourselves maintain a balance of inner peace and calm.

Dr. Forni continued by emphasizing we need to develop skills to deal with inconsiderate rudeness. The primary skill is the “radical acceptance of the reality of rudeness.” Expect rudeness. We may not want to encounter rudeness, but the reality is we will. Another skill is assertiveness. If we decide to address the rudeness, we will have the verbal tools to enter the dialog in a non-combative manner.

Overall, the choice is up to you to address the offender in a civil manner or ignore the situation.

Possibly the best outcome is the resolve to be aware of others while keeping a focus on consideration and self-restraint.